The Behold Blog
Entertaining Thoughts of Angels
This week marks the celebration of Michaelmas, a traditional Roman Catholic and Christian feast day honoring three angels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael…
I Thirst, Part II
She trudged uphill slowly, balancing empty water jugs which clanked and collided with each heavy step. She was thirsty. It was noon, the brightest time of day which guaranteed her hiddenness…
I Thirst, Part I
“Dry, numb, unclear, weary”—these are the words I found coming out of my mouth last week when describing my spiritual life, words I didn’t even know I felt until I spoke them out loud to my spiritual director…
The Darkness of God
As a child, I was terrified of the dark. Every night, my parents had a lovely ritual of singing to us and praying with us before bed. It was a time of deep comfort and peace in which I felt their love and God’s too. But when they left and I was alone with the dark, everything changed…
Like Hidden Treasure
For several months, I have been meeting with a group of friends for the sole purpose of sharing and holding one another’s stories. These have been stories of laughter, beauty, pain, and complexity. Each time we meet, someone volunteers to tell their story based on a selected theme. It has been fascinating to recognize the Providence in who tells what story and when—often stories we hadn’t planned to share ahead of time…
With All My Heart
Dear Friends and Family,
Thank you for journeying with me thus far with Behold…
The Christmas Pony, Part II
Last week, I shared the first installation of my recently unearthed childhood story, The Christmas Pony, written at age 9. If you didn’t read it, that’s okay. All you need to know from Chapters 1-2 is that my alter-ego, Julie, found a black stallion on Christmas Day…
The Christmas Pony, Part I
This week, I will be featuring a guest writer named “My-9-Year-Old-Self.” She is honored to be here and promises to be on her very best behavior…
In This Place
Because the sky is not dark until after ten in Washington summer evenings, Drew and I often find ourselves a bit aimless after dinner. In the winter, the sun begins to set around four so we often find ourselves in bed around nine. But in the summer, sun guilt prevails…
Standing Among Rainbows
Last week Drew and I visited my grandparents in Montana. Being together brought us much joy as we laughed and reminisced about the wonderful life they’d led—a life that has blessed and shaped my own. But our time was also filled with honest conversation about the painful reality of death. As we left my grandparents’ home one evening, my heart was full of both joy and sorrow, levity and heaviness…
The Smallest Cloud
This week, I found myself deep in contemplation while driving east on I-90. My husband and I were traveling to visit my grandmother, whose health is failing. On this particular stretch of the journey, I typically look forward to a meteorological phenomenon I call “Toy Story Clouds.” You know, the pristine white ones with the fluffy tops and flat bottoms, brilliant against an endless blue sky—the clouds Pixar perfected…
Thank You.
I wrote this week’s poem in a time of quiet in which I was able to observe the busy bees outside my window, singular in their intent of sweetening and blossoming the world, one flower at a time…
The New Name
In February of this year, I dreamed of stones. In my first dream, I am looking down at a smooth, milky white stone in my hand…
Two Truths and a Lie
Have you ever played the game “Two Truths and a Lie”? It is an ice breaker commonly played at parties that is marginally fun, mostly stressful. I do not like ice breakers. When someone says, “Let’s do an ice breaker,” I immediately start to sweat and get clammy palms…
Holding Hope
She entered my office slowly, shuffling across the carpeted hallway and hesitantly hovering near my open door. I welcomed her and she sat down in one of the purple velvet chairs that had held the sacred stories of many women before her who had come to our shelter in pursuit of recovery from homelessness, addiction, and domestic violence…
All Is Grace.
For better or worse, the women in my family are known for their devastatingly keen sense of smell. When confronted with overwhelming odors such as certain heavily cologned and dimly lit mall stores selling hip teens’ clothing, the result is headache or nausea. When encountering everyday smells, it is a fantastic tool for detection…
Love, Take My Hand.
Minutes before Drew and I shared our first kiss (huge deal, by the way), we found ourselves swimming in the frigid waters of British Columbia’s Howe Sound…
You Belong Here.
Moving during a pandemic in October means that at best, you will get to meet your neighbors across fences and from several yards away. Such conversations may involve a good deal of polite shouting and animated gesticulating to understand one another…
Of Treasure & Transformations
This week I have the joy of sharing my story of how God initiated a season of healing and freedom for me through my trip to the Philippines in 2018…
The Question That Answered Me
A month ago I received a phone call from an unknown number, which I answered *solely* because I believed it was my eye doctor…