
The Behold Blog
I Have No Idea What Is Growing
I will never know for certain what is growing in the black plastic container on my window sill. For Christmas of 2019, my Dad gave me a packet of money tree seeds which he had received in his gift bag from a financial conference. According to legend, money trees bring financial prosperity to their owner…
Abre Los Ojos
Abre los ojos. Open your eyes.
These are the opening lines of Disney’s latest animated movie, Encanto—an enchanting story that is 100% fun, 70% Family Systems Therapy. I couldn’t recommend it more. Its plot features a young woman who is burdened by her gift of being the only one who can truly see the cracks in her family’s foundation…
The Song of Your Life
This week marks a year since I began writing this blog in response to a subtle yet persistent question that had been building in me for quite some time, ever since I left my job as a counselor in 2018…
Eternal Epiphany
To have an epiphany is to experience an “aha!” moment—a moment of illumination and piercing clarity. Today, on the Christian feast of Epiphany, we celebrate the manifestation of Christ’s identity to the world.
When I think about the magi—quite possibly astronomers—I think of the star which may have come suddenly into view one night as they searched the sky like countless nights before…
Treasuring and Pondering
For the past several weeks, I have been exploring the Advent themes of hope amidst darkness, our great need for Emmanuel, and cultivating a posture that is open to the life-bearing work of the Holy Spirit. This week, I have the honor of sharing my husband’s recent article…
Be Born in Me
Theotokos is an ancient name for the Mother of God used especially within the Eastern Orthodox church tradition. Theotokos combines the Greek words for God (Theo) and Bearer (Tokos) to form the title, God-Bearer or God-birther. Ever since I discovered this name, I have been pondering it in my heart—delighted to think of Mary as Theotokos.
In the Bleak Mid-Advent
Advent is my favorite holy season. Its themes of waiting in the dark for the coming light, entering fully into the story of Christ’s first appearance on earth, and paying attention to our longing for Christ’s return all feel like “Yes, yes, and yes. This is my heartbeat.”…
Hope Like Gingerbread
Three years ago, I had a dream that November of 2021 would be painful and hard. So when November rolled around this year, I braced for impact—just in case…
The Desert Will Rejoice
Four years ago, my graduate school counseling supervisor handed me a small, flower-shaped succulent. “For you,” she said, “because you, too, have learned to thrive in desert places”…
The Beauty of Hiddenness
We walked carefully up the mountain path, our feet straddling the sides of a newly formed spring which flowed through the middle of our trail. A low-lying fog gave the forest a hushed quality, the only sound that of the swollen Waptus river which raged below…
Three Poems
This week, I have the privilege of sharing three of my poems which are published in Issue VI of Heart of Flesh Literary Magazine. Heart of Flesh is a beautiful and earnest publication which features the writing and wrestling of artists seeking to know God and follow Jesus…
To Shine Like Stars
It had been a perfect October day the night that I saw the stars. Fall in the Pacific Northwest is a glorious sight to behold, with trees shouting their farewell in magnificent leaves of gold and red which burn against the cool canvas of evergreens…
Holy, Wholly
“Is there anything you’d like to confess?” I asked him. This certainly was not the conversation I had anticipated when I stumbled downstairs to make myself a breakfast of coffee and toast…
All Through the Night
It was the quiet that woke me. In the dark before dawn, everything was still—too still. The familiar sound of our whirring fan had gone silent, and I woke up with a confused sense that something was wrong…
Holy Hospitality
I had watched her from afar for weeks, this mysterious woman in the water. Each time I saw her, my curiosity grew…
Entertaining Thoughts of Angels
This week marks the celebration of Michaelmas, a traditional Roman Catholic and Christian feast day honoring three angels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael…
I Thirst, Part II
She trudged uphill slowly, balancing empty water jugs which clanked and collided with each heavy step. She was thirsty. It was noon, the brightest time of day which guaranteed her hiddenness…
I Thirst, Part I
“Dry, numb, unclear, weary”—these are the words I found coming out of my mouth last week when describing my spiritual life, words I didn’t even know I felt until I spoke them out loud to my spiritual director…
The Darkness of God
As a child, I was terrified of the dark. Every night, my parents had a lovely ritual of singing to us and praying with us before bed. It was a time of deep comfort and peace in which I felt their love and God’s too. But when they left and I was alone with the dark, everything changed…