The Behold Blog

Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

I Have No Idea What Is Growing

I will never know for certain what is growing in the black plastic container on my window sill. For Christmas of 2019, my Dad gave me a packet of money tree seeds which he had received in his gift bag from a financial conference. According to legend, money trees bring financial prosperity to their owner…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Abre Los Ojos

Abre los ojos. Open your eyes.

These are the opening lines of Disney’s latest animated movie, Encanto—an enchanting story that is 100% fun, 70% Family Systems Therapy. I couldn’t recommend it more. Its plot features a young woman who is burdened by her gift of being the only one who can truly see the cracks in her family’s foundation…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Song of Your Life

This week marks a year since I began writing this blog in response to a subtle yet persistent question that had been building in me for quite some time, ever since I left my job as a counselor in 2018…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Eternal Epiphany

To have an epiphany is  to experience an “aha!” moment—a moment of illumination and piercing clarity. Today, on the Christian feast of Epiphany, we celebrate the manifestation of Christ’s identity to the world.

When I think about the magi—quite possibly astronomers—I think of the star which may have come suddenly into view one night as they searched the sky like countless nights before…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Treasuring and Pondering

For the past several weeks, I have been exploring the Advent themes of hope amidst darkness, our great need for Emmanuel, and cultivating a posture that is open to the life-bearing work of the Holy Spirit. This week, I have the honor of sharing my husband’s recent article…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Be Born in Me

Theotokos is an ancient name for the Mother of God used especially within the Eastern Orthodox church tradition. Theotokos combines the Greek words for God (Theo) and Bearer (Tokos) to form the title, God-Bearer or God-birther. Ever since I discovered this name, I have been pondering it in my heart—delighted to think of Mary as Theotokos.

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

In the Bleak Mid-Advent

Advent is my favorite holy season. Its themes of waiting in the dark for the coming light, entering fully into the story of Christ’s first appearance on earth, and paying attention to our longing for Christ’s return all feel like “Yes, yes, and yes. This is my heartbeat.”…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Hope Like Gingerbread

Three years ago, I had a dream that November of 2021 would be painful and hard. So when November rolled around this year, I braced for impact—just in case…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Desert Will Rejoice

Four years ago, my graduate school counseling supervisor handed me a small, flower-shaped succulent. “For you,” she said, “because you, too, have learned to thrive in desert places”…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Beauty of Hiddenness

We walked carefully up the mountain path, our feet straddling the sides of a newly formed spring which flowed through the middle of our trail. A low-lying fog gave the forest a hushed quality, the only sound that of the swollen Waptus river which raged below…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Three Poems

This week, I have the privilege of sharing three of my poems which are published in Issue VI of Heart of Flesh Literary Magazine. Heart of Flesh is a beautiful and earnest publication which features the writing and wrestling of artists seeking to know God and follow Jesus…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

He Has Time

It was a dark and rainy night, that fateful night of the apple cider chicken…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

To Shine Like Stars

It had been a perfect October day the night that I saw the stars. Fall in the Pacific Northwest is a glorious sight to behold, with trees shouting their farewell in magnificent leaves of gold and red which burn against the cool canvas of evergreens…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Holy, Wholly

“Is there anything you’d like to confess?” I asked him. This certainly was not the conversation I had anticipated when I stumbled downstairs to make myself a breakfast of coffee and toast…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

All Through the Night

It was the quiet that woke me. In the dark before dawn, everything was still—too still. The familiar sound of our whirring fan had gone silent, and I woke up with a confused sense that something was wrong…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Holy Hospitality

I had watched her from afar for weeks, this mysterious woman in the water. Each time I saw her, my curiosity grew…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Entertaining Thoughts of Angels

This week marks the celebration of Michaelmas, a traditional Roman Catholic and Christian feast day honoring three angels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

I Thirst, Part II

She trudged uphill slowly, balancing empty water jugs which clanked and collided with each heavy step. She was thirsty. It was noon, the brightest time of day which guaranteed her hiddenness…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

I Thirst, Part I

“Dry, numb, unclear, weary”—these are the words I found coming out of my mouth last week when describing my spiritual life, words I didn’t even know I felt until I spoke them out loud to my spiritual director…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Darkness of God

As a child, I was terrified of the dark. Every night, my parents had a lovely ritual of singing to us and praying with us before bed. It was a time of deep comfort and peace in which I felt their love and God’s too. But when they left and I was alone with the dark, everything changed…

Read More