The Behold Blog

Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Abide With Me

I was sitting on a couch in the back of a 15-foot U-Haul in the parking lot of a storage facility, waiting for more boxes to arrive. My family is moving again, for the 15th+ time in their lives. But this time, it feels permanent…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Living at the Speed of Jesus

I’d like to begin this piece by thanking my spiritual director, Summer. She has journeyed with me since 2017—long enough to be able to detect meaningful patterns in my spiritual life as well as identify and celebrate areas of growth…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

But Deliver Us from Evil

It happened again. I was praying the Lord’s Prayer along with my congregation on Sunday when a line took hold of me and would not loosen its grip: Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Distill

I wrote this poem after several attempts at writing a full blog post for this week. Sometimes, words just aren’t enough, especially in the wake of tragedy and suffering…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Baptize My Eyes

I first prayed the prayer that is changing my life under the fluorescent lights of a Walmart return line…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

I Asked for Rainbows

On my sister’s birthday, I asked for rainbows. It was a kaleidoscopic weather day, in which the clouds move faster than your racing heart and the sun and darkness shift like smoke and the rain falls on your upturned face but so does the light upon your shoulders…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Re-membering Hands of God

The first time Drew and I held hands, I experienced two things at once: exhilaration and guilt. My divorce had been finalized earlier that day, and I remember my mother and sisters creating a special dinner outside on our deck overlooking Lake Sammamish…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Two Gardens

Today is Maundy Thursday. On this day two thousand years ago, Jesus was weeping in a garden. He had just finished a meal with his closest friends, knowing that one would betray him, the other deny him, and still more would fall asleep on him. But Jesus loved them anyways…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

But Our Eyes Are on You

Get ready for a sort-of embarrassing poem straight from the heart of my exuberant eight-year-old self…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Step Into the Light

Have you ever seen Disney’s 1991 animated version of Beauty and the Beast? If not, please put your entire life on hold and go watch it. It is enchanting, through and through. When I was a little girl, I had a giant princess-shaped pillow with Belle on the front holding a stack of books in one hand and her skirt in the other, posing in a winsome “Who, Me?” fashion…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Even Sorrow

This week, I’m simply sharing a poem. My soul and body have been weary, so I wasn’t planning to write anything since it has become continuously apparent that sorrow cannot, as it were, be confined to a one-week acceptable grieving period—as much as I have tried…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Blessed Are the Humiliated

Spring never fails to surprise me. Each year, it seems like such an impossibility that life could blossom from the sterile harshness of winter. But it does. This Tuesday morning, I set out with a hopeful heart into the damp possibility of spring…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Grieving with Hope

My sweet grandpa died on Sunday morning.

Since then, I’ve been aimlessly wandering around the house with a hammer in hand and nails in my mouth, searching for the perfect place to hang art—only to take it down a few hours later…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Hope of Heaven

I had the privilege of sitting at my grandfather’s bedside last week, and what I experienced was hard and holy, tearful and joyful…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Even Though I Walk

My palms were sweaty and my 4-year-old heart was beating rapidly. Sitting in a circle with my preschool class, I began to squirm; the stakes were high. It was almost my turn…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Though the Darkness Hide Thee

I had forgotten to anticipate those horrible eye drops. Each time my yearly eye exam rolls around, I naively think to myself, “I’ll just pop in, pop out, and have a joyously productive afternoon.” Yet every year, I leave with stinging, dilated eyes and pupils the size of a cat’s, utterly incapacitated for the next 4-6 hours…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

I Have No Idea What Is Growing

I will never know for certain what is growing in the black plastic container on my window sill. For Christmas of 2019, my Dad gave me a packet of money tree seeds which he had received in his gift bag from a financial conference. According to legend, money trees bring financial prosperity to their owner…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Abre Los Ojos

Abre los ojos. Open your eyes.

These are the opening lines of Disney’s latest animated movie, Encanto—an enchanting story that is 100% fun, 70% Family Systems Therapy. I couldn’t recommend it more. Its plot features a young woman who is burdened by her gift of being the only one who can truly see the cracks in her family’s foundation…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

The Song of Your Life

This week marks a year since I began writing this blog in response to a subtle yet persistent question that had been building in me for quite some time, ever since I left my job as a counselor in 2018…

Read More
Katelyn Jane Katelyn Jane

Eternal Epiphany

To have an epiphany is  to experience an “aha!” moment—a moment of illumination and piercing clarity. Today, on the Christian feast of Epiphany, we celebrate the manifestation of Christ’s identity to the world.

When I think about the magi—quite possibly astronomers—I think of the star which may have come suddenly into view one night as they searched the sky like countless nights before…

Read More