The Behold Blog
Grieving with Hope
My sweet grandpa died on Sunday morning.
Since then, I’ve been aimlessly wandering around the house with a hammer in hand and nails in my mouth, searching for the perfect place to hang art—only to take it down a few hours later…
The Hope of Heaven
I had the privilege of sitting at my grandfather’s bedside last week, and what I experienced was hard and holy, tearful and joyful…
Even Though I Walk
My palms were sweaty and my 4-year-old heart was beating rapidly. Sitting in a circle with my preschool class, I began to squirm; the stakes were high. It was almost my turn…
Though the Darkness Hide Thee
I had forgotten to anticipate those horrible eye drops. Each time my yearly eye exam rolls around, I naively think to myself, “I’ll just pop in, pop out, and have a joyously productive afternoon.” Yet every year, I leave with stinging, dilated eyes and pupils the size of a cat’s, utterly incapacitated for the next 4-6 hours…
I Have No Idea What Is Growing
I will never know for certain what is growing in the black plastic container on my window sill. For Christmas of 2019, my Dad gave me a packet of money tree seeds which he had received in his gift bag from a financial conference. According to legend, money trees bring financial prosperity to their owner…
Abre Los Ojos
Abre los ojos. Open your eyes.
These are the opening lines of Disney’s latest animated movie, Encanto—an enchanting story that is 100% fun, 70% Family Systems Therapy. I couldn’t recommend it more. Its plot features a young woman who is burdened by her gift of being the only one who can truly see the cracks in her family’s foundation…
The Song of Your Life
This week marks a year since I began writing this blog in response to a subtle yet persistent question that had been building in me for quite some time, ever since I left my job as a counselor in 2018…
Eternal Epiphany
To have an epiphany is to experience an “aha!” moment—a moment of illumination and piercing clarity. Today, on the Christian feast of Epiphany, we celebrate the manifestation of Christ’s identity to the world.
When I think about the magi—quite possibly astronomers—I think of the star which may have come suddenly into view one night as they searched the sky like countless nights before…
Treasuring and Pondering
For the past several weeks, I have been exploring the Advent themes of hope amidst darkness, our great need for Emmanuel, and cultivating a posture that is open to the life-bearing work of the Holy Spirit. This week, I have the honor of sharing my husband’s recent article…
Be Born in Me
Theotokos is an ancient name for the Mother of God used especially within the Eastern Orthodox church tradition. Theotokos combines the Greek words for God (Theo) and Bearer (Tokos) to form the title, God-Bearer or God-birther. Ever since I discovered this name, I have been pondering it in my heart—delighted to think of Mary as Theotokos.
In the Bleak Mid-Advent
Advent is my favorite holy season. Its themes of waiting in the dark for the coming light, entering fully into the story of Christ’s first appearance on earth, and paying attention to our longing for Christ’s return all feel like “Yes, yes, and yes. This is my heartbeat.”…
Hope Like Gingerbread
Three years ago, I had a dream that November of 2021 would be painful and hard. So when November rolled around this year, I braced for impact—just in case…
The Desert Will Rejoice
Four years ago, my graduate school counseling supervisor handed me a small, flower-shaped succulent. “For you,” she said, “because you, too, have learned to thrive in desert places”…
The Beauty of Hiddenness
We walked carefully up the mountain path, our feet straddling the sides of a newly formed spring which flowed through the middle of our trail. A low-lying fog gave the forest a hushed quality, the only sound that of the swollen Waptus river which raged below…
Three Poems
This week, I have the privilege of sharing three of my poems which are published in Issue VI of Heart of Flesh Literary Magazine. Heart of Flesh is a beautiful and earnest publication which features the writing and wrestling of artists seeking to know God and follow Jesus…
To Shine Like Stars
It had been a perfect October day the night that I saw the stars. Fall in the Pacific Northwest is a glorious sight to behold, with trees shouting their farewell in magnificent leaves of gold and red which burn against the cool canvas of evergreens…
Holy, Wholly
“Is there anything you’d like to confess?” I asked him. This certainly was not the conversation I had anticipated when I stumbled downstairs to make myself a breakfast of coffee and toast…
All Through the Night
It was the quiet that woke me. In the dark before dawn, everything was still—too still. The familiar sound of our whirring fan had gone silent, and I woke up with a confused sense that something was wrong…
Holy Hospitality
I had watched her from afar for weeks, this mysterious woman in the water. Each time I saw her, my curiosity grew…